Thursday, April 17, 2008!
"I am unable to grasp the large catastrophes. They leave my heart untouched. At most I can read about such atrocities with a kind of greed – a pornography of horror. But I shall never rid myself of those images. Images that turn by art into a bag of tricks, into something indifferent, meaningless. " - Ingmar Bergman
in my view, this is not only the dilemma of art but also the dilemma of everyday life and existance.
people making great statements for their beliefs, leave me with awe, admiration and disdain. Disdain - at my everyday existance and my art. because it is in the face of such statements,that i find my daily doings and purpose in life meaningless and very much a joke. and then the joke is taken further when i realised that great importance and attention i place to them.
these statements crush my whole world of self-constructed believes and purposes. my entire sense of existance.
but yet i continue on with the meaningless. because i dont know what statement i can make, what beliefs i can hold on to.
and my art - is it but a bag of tricks? is it but fluff of no meaning? is it just something i play for mere self satisfaction?
as much as i try to deny and justify myself, i cannot.
i dont know what to do now.
11:23 PM
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