Monday, January 08, 2007!
dear vangie,
i am writing this because i cant seem to express myself whenever i see u. my throat just seems to close up and i just cant seem to tell you just how much i love you.
i cant believe i miss u already, even though you are with me everyday.
can you tell me what to do when u go back home?
i feel so helpless because i have depended on you all my life.
so this is what pain feels like.
it hurts so much that i dont even feel any other pain anymore.
i cant face you, because i feel like i can never fully treasure my last month with you.
can someone teach me how to treasure you? can you teach me?
i feel like i am grasping at thin air. i cant hold you back even though i want to hold on to you and never ever let you leave.
yet the more i try to hold on to you, the more i seem to push you away.
and i am so angry at myself.
Vangie, i miss u so much now, even if you are just next door.
you will take a part of me away, you know.
so this is what pain feels like.
4:42 AM
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