LMAO!!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006!

surprisingly, mr dio brought inside to my life today.
i need a new purpose to study.
i realised that i've been blindly mugging for the past few months of my life. mugging with an utterly blurred vision of my aim. wait. what was it again? oh yes, to get into university. to do my parents proud.
both these aims had been successfully refuted by mr dio today. he's right u know. i've got to be my own person one day.
so, what to study for? for the fact that i want to excel? to reach a higher level of self-satisfaction?
all my life i've known the fact that if u study hard today, you will gain happiness in the future. but
having happiness in the future is just a round-a-bout way of getting happiness. what if i'm already happy now?
ah, what brilliant insight. but then the even tougher question now is, am i happy now? and what makes me happy?
the sad thing is that many of us dont know what makes us happy. what if i'll never ever reach a state of contentment?
mr dio said that there is 2 ways to attain happiness. either to change your environment or change yourself.
the usual way we are thought now is to change our environment, and thus, we get those supposedly inspiring talks about excelling in our studies, getting a good job, blah. supposedly, this is supposed to make us happier.
however, the second way is to change my own perspective of life. i can be very contented with where i am now and tada, i've got happiness right in front of me.
well, all these is based on the assumption that the main goal of your life is to be happy. and well, i think we all innately wish for happiness...and that's why we try so hard in life.
however, i find it exceedingly difficult to be content with my current state of life because i'm at a transition time of my life. so...being content now means being content with my..daily life? this daily monotonous routine of school-home-school-home?
i guess i'm a perfect analogy of why man will always find it difficult to come in terms with himself. to accept the way life is and be happy.
because we'll always find excuses to not be content with life.
...so what do i do now?
have faith, Ruth. have faith and be happy.
back to mugging. whether blindly or not.
'all we've got to do is trusten' - silas marner

6:10 AM
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