Saturday, April 02, 2005!
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the title was the answer for the title in the previous post.
yes indeed, i have more adapting to do. rhoda, lets be fighters.
***
Friday. doomsday.
it would have been better if it have rained as the sun was just an illusion. a facade.
the first thing i heard in the morning was, "posting results are out NOW!" and the second thing i heard was," ruth. you're in ao1"
the first thing i thought was, "wait..isnt the posting result supposed to be out only at 12?" and the immediately second thing i thought was, " o..k..."
christine: ruth, are u ok?
ruth: yeah.
and then i cried.
i am seriously one confused person.
honestly, i dont know why i cried even though i knew this was coming... i wasnt even sure if i was crying for
a) myself
b) rhoda charmaine liyana erni
c) the a02 that wouldnt be the same again
d) all of the above.
i just couldnt imgine myself in another class, couldnt even think about leaving a02 just as a memory. i couldnt, i didnt want to.
i couldnt hold back my tears when the newcomers of a02 came up to us in the canteen to introduce themselves. i felt terribly selfish and insensitive but i just couldnt control myself. so like a fool i wept in agony, pain, disappointment and anger.
my first experience in a new class was trumatic and emotional. the moment i stepped into the new classroom, i was choking back tears. i was already missing a02 despite being with them 5 minutes ago. i felt tortured and emotionally strangled...and i wondered how long a fake smile could last.
leaving the classroom was the breaking point. when i could finally breathe, tears flowed again. thanks emmi for lending me your shoulders.
i guess at that moment i felt really helpless, but i was definitely not alone as ao2 was by my side all the time.
a02 fought a really tough battle...although we still got defeated by higher authorities, it was a battle well fought. thank you guys for standing beside me through this trumatic time.. at least we fought...we tried...and that's all that matters. i feel much better after knowing that u guys will definitely always be there when i need u.
i will always need a02. so alway be there. please.
i once fell in love with a beautiful class.
10:40 PM
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