Wednesday, April 06, 2005!
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i really dont want to look back upon my jc life and sigh. this cant go on...but i just cant tear myself away from a02 no matter how hard i try to..i am just so reluctant...
a wise old man (ok...it was richard) told me to give myself a dateline to end this depression. ok. the dateline is tomorrow. i will really really try to socialise with my class. i really dont want to find myself counting down to the days of graduation...i really dont want to find myself pia-ing alone next year...i have to move on.
i used to love njc for 2 things.
1) ao2
2)ignis
since i was robbed of both, nj kinda lost its spark for me..
but another wise old man(ok..it was adrian) told me that in my 2 years, i must love njc for 4 things.
1)a02
2)ignis
3)a01
4)aerius
i feel strangled...constantly deciding between 2 classes. i love one, but i am oblidged to another. but i am like an outsider for both.
another another wise old man (ok..it was keefe) once told me that we should all have an outlet for our emotions. i HAVE to find an outlet soon...christine needs to mug...hmmm...blog, can u be my outlet?
wise old man number 1 (richard) told me to look forward n not backward. looking forward hurts as i feel forced, with a heavy hand on my neck, to look forward..as much as i want to turn back and lean on memories.
i want to stay in my comfort zone, because memories sooth me. memories are safe...but memories cant bring the future.
i miss a02 so so so so much....
but i SHOULD move on.
perhaps i shall...
thank you 3 wise old men! =D
6:15 AM
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